Antique Store Owner T-Shirts

Antiques: Out Bidding

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

The Dorrie Decimal System

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Cut Price

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Southwark Fair.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

'Perhaps Sallie had made her bookshop too comfortable'

You had me at vintage.

Rodin's Browser

Author of 'The Big Pop-up Book' popping up out of a folding table.

Antiques

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'