Antique Dealer T-Shirts

"So, what's new?"

"That old computer we recycled in 1989 is now worth a fortune."

'It's a newspaper! Brought it online for me dad's birthday. Apparently it's the forerunner of the tablet!'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'I believe it's a snuff box.'

'Who are you calling 'oldtimer', sonny?!'

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Antiques expect to War Criminal - "Er, has it been in the family long?"

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'How old is this vase?'

'Sir, comfortable chairs wear out. Only the very unconfortable become antiques.'

'Museums are a lot like flea markets...except nothing's for sale.'

'I see you brought us some Chippendale.'

"Yes, we cater to a rather specialized clientele."

Antiques: Out Bidding

look out it might be a fake

"So what's new..?"

'Unfortunately, ma'am, it's not worth a thing! The recliner, however, is quite valuable!'

Mangle

Antique shop with 'the end is near' signs.

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

Antiques.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"It's an antique stand. Do you use it for anything?" "Yes. Norman and I have sex on it every Thursday."

'Looks like we have an honest-to-goodness flip phone! I haven't seen one of these in years...'

Authenticating an antique

Antiques made daily!!

Garbage Dump/Used Gems

Stan's OK Deliveries

You had me at vintage.

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Buy Now and Save! - Before the Schlock Market Goes Up.

"I don't know what it is but it must be old. It was the only thing grandma didn't recognize."

"I must have completely lost track of time."