Antiquity Dealer T-Shirts

"I need a valuation on my document please."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Sundial Time

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Fossil record player.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

You had me at vintage.

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

The First Printed Bible

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."