Antiques Dealer T-Shirts

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

Antiques Roadshow - "Of course the value would have been considerably higher if you had the pear."

"Now, what am I bid for this beautiful piece, which comes with the original owner?"

Pre-Bay

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"I need a valuation on my document please."

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

Antiques: Go for Baroque Sale!

Spot the Difference: Junk and Antiques

"This is very rare. It's signed 'Made in Amercia'."

Antiques: Prices reduced to actual value.

"Has it been in your family long?"

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

Antique's store is a front for the city dump.

Antiques Roadshow 1, plate of chips "Yes it is a King Edward's...shame its chipped"

Antiques

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"And our charging station, also a period piece. . ."

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"How much am I bid, for the death mask of Casanova?"

This week on The Antique Roadkill

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

"How can we tell if this old movie poster is valuable?"

"That place was depressing...nearly half of those antiques are things I grew up with!"

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

"It's a wonderful partner's desk - but we think they didn't get along."

The Antique Road Show

"My dream is to open an antique store. But I can't find anything that's old yet."

Pricey Antiques. . . Just Plain Junk

"Genuine shabby chic - popularly described in the 20th century as: 'knackered old tat!'"

"I think you wound it too tight."

Street Sales

Genie and the lamp, "It's the delux model."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.