Antique Dealer Gifts

"So, what's new?"

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"That old computer we recycled in 1989 is now worth a fortune."

'It's a newspaper! Brought it online for me dad's birthday. Apparently it's the forerunner of the tablet!'

'I believe it's a snuff box.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'Who are you calling 'oldtimer', sonny?!'

'Sir, comfortable chairs wear out. Only the very unconfortable become antiques.'

Antiques expect to War Criminal - "Er, has it been in the family long?"

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'How old is this vase?'

'Museums are a lot like flea markets...except nothing's for sale.'

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

Stan's OK Deliveries

Authenticating an antique

"Yes, we cater to a rather specialized clientele."

look out it might be a fake

Mangle

Antiques made daily!!

"It's an antique stand. Do you use it for anything?" "Yes. Norman and I have sex on it every Thursday."

'I see you brought us some Chippendale.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Garbage Dump/Used Gems

Antique shop with 'the end is near' signs.

Antiques.

'Looks like we have an honest-to-goodness flip phone! I haven't seen one of these in years...'

Antiques: Out Bidding

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

"So what's new..?"

"If any place is open at this hour. I need to pick up something from the 19th century."

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'll take it."

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

"Oh yeah, if it weren't for Antiques Roadshow we would have been out on the street long ago."

Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe