Antique Shopping Gifts

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Special today: Reclining chair with one used husband."

"I wonder what this was for."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"I think that thing's ready for the thirdhand store."

Retro gear

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

Sundial Time

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

You had me at vintage.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Fossil record player.

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

The First Printed Bible

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.