Collecting Antiques Gifts

'Don't make me take these home - 50p.' 'What WAS I thinking - 20p.' 'I know, I know ... - 10p.'

'I believe it's a snuff box.'

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

'While I'm at the guy, don't you dare throw my old typewriter away.'

'Undamaged, it would have been worth a small fortune...'

Mangle

'It's part of our Thanksgiving tradition - I hide the frozen turkey and Walter hunts it down.'

'He's on one of his silly crusades - May I take a message?'

Cab driver trying to sell his horse to a swell who admires it

"Two out of three."

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Grandfather Clock

'Do you think Kevin has the right aptitude for this work?'

You break what you pay - Kids Welcome.

"If you want something done right, you have to live in the past."

'Hi - what's new?'

"This old calculator is missing the multiplication symbol."

Vintage Bumper Cars.

'Isn't that the computer model you bought back in January?'

"Thanks for holding. . . have you been waiting long?"

"This had better be important! I was in the middle of Antiques Roadshow..."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

Antique silver

'There's a great demand for these depression era cliches. You ought to be able to get a few hundred dollars. Thanks for wearing them in.'

'And of course it comes with anti-virus software and a firewall.'

"This license is printed on parchment."

Americana Cafe: Wanted: Dumb Waiter

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

"Sorry sir, if you take the record player, you must take the dog."

"House sitting for Tia Zulema is sooooo boring! Everything here is ancient!"

"When it comes to technology, Fred lives in the moment. The moment is 1987."

Privates, but not Full.

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

"I guess you haven't been following the news, but I'm gonna need way more than three wishes!"

"Hey, so sorry to do this - Do you think we could push to Pistols at Two?"