Anti-drinker Pillows

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'Just too many choices.'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'My first drink since my accident.'

"Physician heal thyself."

The smoking Gun

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

'No thanks, I recently gave them up.'

"A knowledgeable choice...A sophisticated blend of fine liqueurs..." "Girly drink."

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

Smoking world.

Smokers.

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

The cost of smoking

"A last cigarette? Sorry this is a no smoking area. A last nicotine patch would be okay though"

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

No smoking in heaven.

'Are you crazy? That crap is deadly, man!'

Drinking Together on Social Media

"Wow, they're getting serious about the smoking ban! Great..."

Smoking is suicide

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

Cigarette Ash has made evil face.

Cup chained to tap, "I'll say this for him he always offers his clients a drink."

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."

'No ice for me thanks: I'm sick of ice everywhere...'