Anti-drinker Gifts

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Just too many choices.'

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"Physician heal thyself."

'My first drink since my accident.'

The smoking Gun

Snowman with 'No Smoking' sign.

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

'No thanks, I recently gave them up.'

"A knowledgeable choice...A sophisticated blend of fine liqueurs..." "Girly drink."

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

"Ironically, Damnation is now smoke-free."

The cost of smoking

"Two non-fat lattes and a decaf flat white, please."

"A last cigarette? Sorry this is a no smoking area. A last nicotine patch would be okay though"

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

Smokers.

Smoking world.

Cup chained to tap, "I'll say this for him he always offers his clients a drink."

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

Smoking is suicide

No smoking in heaven.

Cigarette Ash has made evil face.

Drinking Together on Social Media

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

'Are you crazy? That crap is deadly, man!'

'I'll trade my gangrenous foot for your diseased lung and throat tumour.'

"Wow, they're getting serious about the smoking ban! Great..."

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."