Anti-cleaning Enthusiast Pillows

'We'd be crazy to vacuum now.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Sweep the board.

Dogs shaving

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'But you said to clean my room.'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

Wash your hands

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"I was wrong. Apparently, it wasn't our kids who used all my bubble bath."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Dust Bunny

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'