Drink Detractor Pillows

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

Noise machines for dogs.

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

'I'm having what he's having.'

'I believe in living life to the fullest.'

Ancient Torture Device

4 Reasons for Procrastination

'I wonder if anyone will miss me after I'm gone?' 'Would you like to pay your bar tab now?'

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

'I'm hoping that alcohol is the answer.'

Drinking Together on Social Media

"hey fans! im at bat,. btm 9th, bases loaded, score tied--oops, jst got called strike1!"

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'FOCUS, people, FOCUS!'

I Love You, Man! Dude, that's just the catnip talking.

'After you. So courteous, he always lets me in first, so I have to buy the first round.'

"He waters down the drinks AND his tough love advice."

Rip Van Winkle shouldn't have switched to that new gourmet ultra-decaffeinated coffee.

"These nuts are fabulous. Eat about six bowls and the price of the drink begins to make sense."

"What?"

'Holly? Are you listening?'

No Texting! Don't Even Think About It!

'I didn't get your message because I'm letting my voice mailbox fill up.'