Antacid Advocate Gifts

'I need an antacid. I'm having lunch in the school cafeteria today.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

All Natural Nothing

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Bees SOS

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

Heart Disease Menu

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'Let's go raise some hell and tell people we support government sponsored health care!'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'Is it true? You've been selling your venom to pharmaceutical companies to make anti-venom? Traitor!'

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'I've been telling people to eat organic for years, but did anybody want to listen to a witch? Of course not!'

The Threat to the Environment

'Fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices, nuts, berries, roots, tubers, stems, leaves.'

"Homework is work, and work without breaks is a federal offense that can be reported to the labor board."

"Yeah, he's something alright! But do you know that if a genetically modified organism gives you his seeds, he can sue you for copyright infringement?"

"Mom, can we get a pet so I can use its name in answering a password security question?"

GM Scarecrow

"Sir, do you have any idea how slow you were going?"

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Olympic Doping

"Sure it costs more. We have to squash bugs by hand."

'Why is it that laxatives always look like crap going in?'