Protection Advocate Gifts

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Moulting"

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

"Careful."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Police Statetion

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Violent Crime Statistics

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

CCTV in church.