Answerphone Philosopher Gifts

Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Ban on Free Speech

Humans...What is their purpose?

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Voltaire

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Jean-Paul Sartre

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

What's normal?

"It's such a lovely day!"

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.