Anonymity Aficionado Gifts

National Anonymous Society: Member of the Month, John Doe.

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

The Surly Yoof

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

Miss Underhill's School Of Writing Sample Lesson

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

'And your specialist subject is the Invisible Man films?'

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

'Could you sign it 'anonymous'? It's for a friend and I don't want to ruin the surprise.'

'I'm tired of politicians ignoring me -- I want to have my name legally changed to 'Joe Six-Pack.''

'That's what I call a perfect cover for your Australian assignment, 007'

A right of privacy party.

'I was betting you wouldn't show.'

"Research tells me they found your DNA in the suggestion box."

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

'Your son's poor grades are caused by Attendance deficit disorder. . .'

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'That's right, buster, I'm not really Rex, your faithful hunting dog, I'm Agent Baxter of the Fish and Wildlife Service, and you're under arrest for poaching'

My Life as a Troll

Witness protection programming.

'Aah! I didn't see you come in Mr. Brown - well done! You can start Monday!'

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'Near as I can understand, my folks come from Kansas, and the stork brought me.'

"...I hate mainstream music."

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

'The way I see it, money is like a big manure pile, it's no good unless you spread it around.'

'Our guest has asked that we obscure his identity.'

'I work like a horse and eat like a bird.'

Wash Cycles.