Animal Story Readers Gifts

"I tell you, this new generation is getting soft."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Good boy

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Can I hear Goldilocks and the three hares?"

'I overheard the farmer say I have a future at McDonalds.'

'Tarzan'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"What the heck? The darn rabbit just disappeared!"

'If you INSIST upon 'living your character' could you PLEASE stop writing animal stories.'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'Will I ever catch my tail?'

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

'Not so easy, is it?'

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'