Animal Show Aficionado Gifts

Animal Planet.

'Tonight - music from cat, acrobatics from cow, comedy from me - we have a great show for you - don't run away!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Agility God

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"He was a sea rescue."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

'Follow that cab!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

Talking Dog.

Jungle Games

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"Is your dog friendly?"

Dog Training.

Dog playing snooker/pool.

The Cattle show Week.

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

Replacements for Extinct Animals

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

Psychaitry. Are you sure lying on my back is the best way to address my feelings of helplessness?

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"Serves you right for licking it!"