Dog Show Aficionado Gifts

'A mixed Poodle? Really, Doctor!...

A man walks past a storefront for the "American Kennel Club" that has a sign in its windows that reads: "Some dogs allowed".

"No one ever really wears collars like these, of course."

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

'I'm trying to get him in shape for the dog show.'

'Since winning Best of Breed at the dog show he won't go anywhere without his entourage!'

"It's best to let sleeping dogs lie"

Most Annoying Bark

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Agility God

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

"Another slander suit!"

Talking Dog.

"That's just not the real me."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Who Let the Dawg In?

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'It's a dogwood tree. I can tell by it's bark.'

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

Dog wearing his master's shoes.

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

Collective unconscious.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

'The batter's crowding the plate. Try dusting him off at the knees. If that doesn't work, throw it high and inside. If he still won't back off, charge the plate and bite him.'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'