Animal-loving Family Member Gifts

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

A day in the park

'Where does Doctor Davis practice?...'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"Don't even think about it."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

"Your love gives me strength."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Separation

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

Cat king.

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

But it's the other leg that hurts.

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

"It's nice to be wanted."

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

"You're spoiling that dog!"

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."