Animal Humor Supporter Gifts

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Do me next."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Cat and mouse

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Author does not do tricks."

"Scuba cow"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

The americanisation of vulture.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Snowmobull

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Hats and Food

'Oh Hi!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'