Animal Comedy Follower Gifts

One's a Goldendoodle, and one's a cockadoodle.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Author does not do tricks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Oh Hi!'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Pet Entertainers

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

Dog traps the postman.

Cat leaves obedience school smiling because he got an 'F' on his report card.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Why giraffes hate winter

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'