Animal Collectors Gifts

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Milking the Cow.

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

Mummy?!

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

'Researching the opossum article.'

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

Free Range Cows.

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

'On the other hand, it does have a certain charm.'

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

'Stampede!!'

'Our accident in Wyoming wiped out our vacations for the next 5 years.'

World of Cow: Horn Gel

"That's just UDDER NUN-sense."