Animal Behavior Theorist Gifts

"Why do they do that?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Cat box"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

Romantic Giraffes

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.