Animal Behavior Geek Gifts

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"He always has to get the last 'meow' in."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

'...I'm going out for a waddle.'

Lizard watches for predators.

"That's it honey!...Wiggle that slime trail."

OK, when we're together and we're being attacked, there's no need for both of us to drop our tails: let's flip a coin for it...

"Cat box"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'The Lemming Book Store'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"I'll take this one."

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

Ostrich Curoisities

Dog Bar with Toilets.

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.