Animal Behavior Scholar Gifts

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Why do they do that?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Cat box"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Romantic Giraffes

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."