Animal Behavior Theorist T-Shirts

"Why do they do that?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Cat box"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Romantic Giraffes

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Dog Nightmares