Animal Behavior Expert T-Shirts

'Oh no, I don't do my own mating fights anymore: Meet my champion...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Cat box"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Bears catching fish

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"First date hairball... awkward."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'