Animal Behavior Expert T-Shirts

'Oh no, I don't do my own mating fights anymore: Meet my champion...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Cat box"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

"First date hairball... awkward."

"The hyenas started it."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."