Animal Behavioralist T-Shirts

"Yeah, I heard this perfect mating call, but when I went to investigate, I was met with a guy pointing a gun at me and blowing a weird whistle!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Cat box"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

"First date hairball... awkward."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'