Animal Adopter Gifts

"They're free, but they ain't easy."

"Pick me!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Foster failure"

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"Cat box"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Dog Dreams

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

Cling-On Dog

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Foster failure