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"He was a plumber in his former life."

A child interrupting family prayers

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

St. Elmo's fired.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

Angel playing music

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."

"T.G.I.F."

Give Way To Cyclists

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'It's unto thee.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

Selling to the devil.

Death of the pope.

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Ad Meeting With God.

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'