Angelic Achiever T-Shirts

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Look man, no wings!'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Angel playing music

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"Hey, that's just one omniscient guy's opinion."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

Arch of Triumph Save

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

Angel in heaven walking a dog that is peeing off of a cloud

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"I don't understand what people are saying up here."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

One angel watches as another angel plays the harp.

Cat Heaven.

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."