Angelic Relaxer Gifts

Heaven is...

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

American Idle.

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

Guitars in Heaven

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"First break since 1996!"

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

Give Way To Cyclists

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

Lazy dog.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Prince in the Afterlife

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

His entire life was about balance.

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Spring Break!

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

'He unwound on his vacation and never wound up again!'

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.

Legalization of marijuana

Social Networking in Heaven.

Some eggs are having a good time in the boiling water as if it were a jacuzzi.

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'