Ancient World Giggler Pillows

"It's Okay!! I just called 9-1-1!!!"

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Get on with it!

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Fancy a pint?

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

2pm meet your Creator

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

I am one with stupid.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'Whoops!'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

Black Hole Corks

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.