Ancient Toy Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Dill! Stop being a freakish modern day cow-relic chewing throwback! Ok?'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"That'll be five bucks."

Rocking Horse

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It's his emotional support animal."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Childlike love

One!

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

Remote Control Duck

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

Help me!

Inaction Figure

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Jack in the Box

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Toys

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Romans.

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'