Ancient Ruins Lover Gifts

Archeology 101.

Giorgio Tsoukalos

Julius is writing a memoir of his youth, but doesn't know what to call it. "Caesar's Salad Days"!

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'Look, can't we just build the damn thing next to the quarry?'

"I'm having my entrails read."

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

Mummy Tourist

'Hey, Akhem, a Sphinx-er says what?'

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

Park and Ride dilema

A man takes a selfie with an Egyptian mummy

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

Stonehenge Books

Hieroglyph stamps.

"Not much is known about them. They apparently, had a highly advanced, thriving civilization. Then one August, everyone left the city and never returned."

Gone to Lunch.

Cleopatra

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Sale

Lost to antiquity.

Food Pyramid.

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

"At least it'll be dark when they climb out."

Ancient Warriors versus Modern Warriors

Password must contain at least one hieroglyph.

The Dungeon

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't WANT to strike the same place twice. Didja ever think of that?"

'If this doesn't work , we'll have to find another use for them.'