Ancient Medicine Enthusiast Gifts

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"Oh, come on Hippocrates!"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

"Uh-Oh!"

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"Trepanning for gold"

Anatomy.

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

An astronaut dowses on the moon.

Hypatia

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'Got anything for a headache?'

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up."

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

DOH, NHS and GP