Vintage Medicine Enthusiast Gifts

'When it comes to bustin' a kidney stone, the old methods are still the best.'

"We run an old fashioned practice here, Mrs Gledhill."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Meds Toast

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

Anatomy.

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

"Uh-Oh!"

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

"Trepanning for gold"

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

Too much Inflammation

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

A Mom and Pop Operation

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'