Ancient Empires Fan Gifts

Attila the Hun

'It's an extinction notice.'

Hadrian's Wall

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The Fall of Gnome

"Darn autocorrect!"

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Oedipus

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

How Romans give each other a high five...

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Pyramids exploding.

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

"Efficiency tombs available"

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

'It seems a lot of trouble to go through just to sharpen a razor blade.'

Easter Island Secret

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

"Nothing feels better after a long day's hunting than a nice, long soak in the hot-wheel."

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'All this 'plane geometry' stuff is great, Euclid, but what if the Earth turns out to be round?'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"No, no, no! Thirty days hath September!"