Analog Romantic Gifts

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Online Dating

Big Data Tonight

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

'What I appreciate even more than its remarkable speed and accuracy are the words of understanding and compassion I get from it.'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

'Oh, the amenity!'

A tuba and love hearts

Tom slowly started to realize that romantic gestures of the early 90's didn't work anymore.

'That must be my computer date.'

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

"In my day, we had grand pianos randomly fall from the sky!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

"It was quite evident Ned had fallen in love with technology."

"I can't see it lasting!"

when we were younger we were at it like rabbits, now we're more like humans.

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

"I wish I could just focus on the future and quit revisiting the past."

Hippex

"Springtime in Paris on Google Earth. I told you I was a romantic."

"Is there an emojis that says 'remember when we used to have a cocktail and conversation before dinner?'"

Sundial Watch