Anaesthetist Gifts

'Keep still, this won't hurt a bit.'

'Sure we're underfunded, but we manage!'

'Would you like to take advantage of our 'painless dentistry option'?'

"The only type of anesthesia your health insurance would cover is a tranquilizer dart."

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

'We'll just mill around till he's asleep, and then send him back up. This operation is actually for a placebo effect.'

"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"

'You say he needs 'ventilatory support' - are we talking boxers or Y-fronts?'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

"It's not a very good simile but you'll be like an evening spread out against the sky."

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

"You'll be kept awake throughout the operation."

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

"The bad news is that we've run out of anaesthetic..."

'Tough luck. It's our anaesthetist's day off!'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

'It's the latest thing - surgery under hypnosis.'

"..And this is Dr Chowdry, your anaesthetist..."

"Are you sure you're the Locum Lobotomy specialist?" snorted the Anaesthetist

Universal Soldier/ Local Anaesthetic

'I can't turn it off.'

"Now start counting down from ten."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

"This will be a tricky operation."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'