Anaesthesiologist Gifts

Things you don't want to hear or why they make sure you're asleep

"Am I the only one who can see that sign?"

"Our regular anaesthesiologist called in sick today."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

The Map of the human brain

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Haute Suture

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."