Amnesia Adventurer Gifts

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

The Life of Pi

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"Needs to get a life"

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

'You did help Junior with his science project.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Otto the SmartyCar!

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

Halo Frisbee.

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'