Amnesia Warrior Gifts

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Dog Nightmares

Fight or Flight

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"The overthinker"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

That party went well.

Noisy energy?

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

The Snooze Bar.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Flu vaccine.

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

Wrestling Our Inner Demons

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'You have a fauxbia.'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

Bring your problems to work day.

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

'I couldn't sleep so I decided to do some on-line trading.'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"