Memory Loss Warrior Gifts

"Did you say you've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. . . I'd forget about it!"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

To do before Saturday...

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Cut out and keep your own Marcel Proust.

Valleyview diet clinic

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

Wrestling Our Inner Demons

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

Shrink

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

"Ready to head back?"

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Down with Negativism!

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

Woman and scales.

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

Middle Management Training.

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'It's radical but it just might work!'

Before and After diet photos.

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."