American Legal System Gifts

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Truth

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"They're class action figures."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"