Legal Systems Gifts

'...They were on the verge of working out the problem themselves.'

"Your Honor, the state has every reason to consider the defendant an extremely high flight risk."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

Hearsay evidence.

"You don't have to answer that."

'I saved myself a fortune, by acting as my own defence lawyer.'

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"It's so boring! Every case is the same, except the hearsay evidence, and we can't hear it!"

"It might not have a bearing on the case- but the defendant has parked in your space."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

'Well, yes, I suppose you could appeal. However, if you lost, you'd be responsible for all court costs.'

"Objection."

'I think I can get one of your three life sentences dismissed.'

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"The People rest, Your Honor."

Juror crochets hangman's noose.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Wait! I know the answer!"

'He speaks, but only on the advice of his attorney.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Justice and Capitol Punishment.

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"I find you in contempt for consistently referring to me as 'Your Highness'."

'I had a rogue prosecutor, judge, jury and appellate court.'

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

'Hand over your wallet or I'll sue.'

"If we settle out of court, do you get a kickback?"

'We request a change of venue to a place where the juries are more naive.'

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

'My cat died this morning. This is a legal nightmare. There are nine wills.' color

"So... that's how lawyers get away with it."