American History Humor Gifts

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

The Trojan Beagle.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Right here's fine."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

The Fall of Gnome

Ruddy bloggers!

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'We need to have a shake-up!'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Bible Bloopers

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."