Amenities Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

Realty Porn

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I didn't spark joy."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"That shirt is so last year."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

Happy Retirement

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

"Would it still be considered a weekend getaway if we never go back?"

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Honey, I'm home.'

"Port outbound, starboard home."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

Living together, couple in love.

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"We scarf. We bracelet. We earring. We brooch. In brief, ladies, we accessorize."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

Feathered frenzy

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'