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"Please let me through, gentlemen. I'm a dental hygienist."

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"Shredder broken again?"

"After years in theoretical physics, I can't get enough equipment to put my hands on."

Golf and tennis.

Please don't hurt the machines.

"I guess I could still hand and hunt."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I didn't spark joy."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Arts and crafts

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Mohammad's motors

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

The Hammer

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Pelican and Origami

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'