Gear Aficionado T-Shirts

"Cruz, I met the greatest girl this week. She rode a cool scooter, she was really cute, and she helped her uncle remodel an '83 Olds!"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

Nerd tryouts.

"Pokemon...Pokemon...Pokemon...."

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

Cellphone Islands

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

Dawing your Cellphone

US v.s. Tech Giants

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

Bicycle sat nav.

Scarf puts hat back on.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

'E-books?'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'New Game'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'